Catching up and Pregnancy progress

I’m sorry it’s been such a long time since I have posted but life has been busy.

Long story short, the husband was gone for over 6 weeks and being pregnant, having a toddler and getting strep throat kind of put a dent on things and made it a little harder to handle, but we survived. Wow what has happened since my last post? So so much.

I’m still pregnant, Thank you Lord.

This pregnancy has been a little more difficult than our singleton one. That is to be expected of course.

I did bleed for a while, I think it’s only been a month since I haven’t bled anymore (knock on wood). The reasoning behind the bleeding for me is my low lying placenta. As of last ultrasound, the placenta is no longer lying on top of my cervix, BUT it’s still pretty low, so they’re going to keep a close eye on me!!

We have had many ultrasounds and we are having TWO GIRLS!!! YAY!!

Our last ultrasound was just this past week, I was 18wks and 4 days. Both girls are measuring right on track, they each have 3 vessel cords, 4 chamber hearts, 2 livers, plenty fluids and were both measuring at about 9oz each. All goo things from what i hear from the doctor.

The husband and I have been planning the nursery and we are planning on painting it soon. Why so early you ask? Well, because of my placenta, I won’t want to wait too long and then God forbid I go on bedrest and I can’t be a part of it or help at all.

My doctor seems to think that I won’t be working past November because of my placenta, we shall see. In any case, I did the right thing and have informed my boss and co-workers about it.

As far as the pregnancy itself. I feel baby A a lot more than B. Apparently baby B’s placenta is anterior so I don’t get to feel her as much, but I sure feel baby A.

I do seem to get tired so much faster, it’s ridiculous. Another thing that has been happening recently is the light headness and dizness. My doctor says it’s pretty normal but if I pass out I have to let him know.

I go back to see my doctor in two weeks (which I’m glad is so often because I worry so much) and they are going to try and confirm baby A’s gender since this last ultrasound was hard to see. I won’t fight them for that. I LOVE ultrasounds.

In any case, I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a while, I’m going to try and be more frequent.

Here are my girls.

Please meet Izabella

Please meet Izabella

 

 

Please meet Maya Ellena

Please meet Maya Ellena

 

Meeting a New OBGYN !!!

My Twinkies!!

My Twinkies!!

Since we moved to Indiana I have seen an OB but she is local to me and she only delivers at the hospital close by that does not have a NICU, for me that means that I would have to look for a different doctor that would deliver at a hospital with a NICU.

I had this thought even before I new I was carrying twins. Why do you ask? Well, because Patryck was born at almost 39wks and he had to be hospitalized, I wouldn’t take the risk of delivering somewhere without the support of a NICU and risk my baby having to be moved to a different hospital and I having to stay behind.

Now, with twins, that is going to be impossible to even consider.

I asked around all my co-workers and friends who their OB was and how much they liked them. I even asked nurses.

I got 2 names to go with, that came with really high recommendations. One of them is a Neonatal Doctor as well and an OB and the second doctor is a regular OB with adorable bed side manners.

Since I am carrying twins I thought I would see the high risk doctor and see how I felt and get his perspective. I was hooked. He is awesome and I’m going to stick with him. I have canceled my other appointment because I already like him too much.

Anyways, during my appointment, I got a routine ultrasound. There they were. Baby A and Baby B………looking beautiful. It’s just amazing to see. Of course I still had that internal ultrasound and I was mentioned to the tech how my left ovary is hard to get to. She decided to do a scan above my belly and believe it or not, it was so much easier to the babies that way than with the internal ultrasound.

Baby A = 9wks2D HB=174

Baby A = 9wks2D HB=174

Baby B - 9wks1D- HB=182

Baby B – 9wks1D- HB=182

I asked her how come that was possible and her response was because I was probably carrying high and out. I’m still not sure what that means, but what the heck, I don’t really care.

THen I got to meet with the doctor. He is very nice, VERY informative and very confident of himself. Not in a bad way, just confident.

He already brought up Gestational Diabetes as a topic. He told me he wasn’t trying to scare me but he wanted me to be prepared for it because I have 2 placentas in there and that for me not to get too upset if it happens.

We also talked about my blood pressure and he doesn’t seem concerned with it. He believes that what happened with Patryck’s pregnancy was just because it was my first pregnancy but he will keep an eye on it of course.

He wants to see me in two weeks just to make sure that everything is still ok and to give me piece of mind.

How can I not like this doctor already ? LOVE IT!!!

Second Ultrasound………and playing tricks on me already.

I had our ultrasound yesterday (6/26) and as always I was SUPER nervous. I mean, really, really nervous.

My bp was 130/88 which it’s not too bad but it’s still high.

Unfortunately Tom was not able to go with me as he is out of the country with work. đŸ˜¦Â  Yet he was able to talk to me and keep me calm throughout the process. He’s amazing.

So, there I was, sitting at the table and waiting for my turn. Doc comes in and asks me how I’m doing. Of course I tell him that I’m super nervous and I hope that the babies are still there. He tells me to try and breath and lets take a look.

So, my usual ultrasound tech wasn’t there, which made me nervous, but I have to trust the doc so there I go.

The ultrasound starts and I saw baby A, i couldn’t see the heart beat but at least I got a glimpse of the baby. Then she moved to baby B and was looking around for what it felt like FOREVER. Doc looked worried, he said to me, well, maybe he stopped growing. Of course, as soon as he said that, the tech found him (I’m guessing on the gender here).

There he was, baby B was just playing hide and seek with us. Ai ai ai

So, now that we saw both babies and their little hearts beating away we were ready to do the measurements. So since baby B gave us the most trouble we started with him.

Baby B was measuring at 8wks and 3 days and with a heart rate of 167 bpm!!! Looking beautiful. Such a difference from 112 from last time.

Baby B 8w3D

Baby A was measuring at 8wks and 4 days and with a heart rate of 180 bpm!!! Also looking beautiful of course.

 

Baby A 8w4D

It was amazing how different the heart beats were between each baby. It was crazy.

They were not moving around, which I’m guessing it’s because they were asleep.

So, with all of that, doc took me to his office. He told me that I can resume my normal activities, pick our son up, do the baby dance, whatever.

I can stop the estrogen patches as of today and I am to take the progesterone until I am 10wks. Which is exactly in 10 days. But who is counting, right??? lol

I have graduated from my RE and I can now see a regular OB. We talked about which OB for me to see and he is referring me to Dr.Wheeler who is a specialist in town and very well known. We shall see how it goes.

I have my first meeting/appointment with him on July 1st, so we shall see how that’s going to go.

My sweet RE reminded me of our frozen embryos and told me how much “easier” that would be versus a full IVF process. I think Tom would flip out if I even suggested the idea of more kids right now. LOL

 

First Ultrasound Update

I’m sorry I haven’t posted but I’m been pretty busy lately. My sweet husband is out of town for work and it’s been busy without him around.

So, anyways.

We had our first ultrasound with our RE on June 12th. When we got there I could barely breathe. I’m not even kidding you. I don’t remember breathing AT ALL.

They called  me in, took my weight (as a part of the torture process) and then she brought in the little blood pressure machine. I told her that it probably wasn’t a good idea because I was sure it was going to be through the roof. She took it and said that it was high but never told me the numbers.

Our wonderful RE walked in and asked if I was ready. I told him that I was so nervous that my heart was beating a million beats per minute and I just needed to know that there was a baby in there. He gave me the, “let’s just keep our hopes up” speech. you know, that really doesn’t help at times like these.

So, there we were, the ultrasound wand and I were about to meet. She moved it around and we saw a beautiful sac there and the doc said right away that there was a heartbeat. Then she moved it and there it was, a second sac. I immediately started crying, not like crazy crying, but tears were running down my face.

He told me to breath and told me that now we were going to be measuring them. Yes, he said THEM.

Our beautiful babies

Our beautiful babies

Baby A was measuring 6wks and 2 days with a heart rate of 112. Baby B was measuring 6wks 4 days with a heart rate of 120.

The sac for baby A looked a little smaller but my RE said that it was normal and for me not to worry about it. We got to hear their hearts beating and everything. Needless to say it was just amazing.

We talked about my spotting and doc doesn’t seem concerned about it. I asked about vanishing twins and he said that although there’s a 7% chance of that happening, that he was pretty confident that our twins looked great and he wasn’t worried about it.

Our estimated due date is February 2, 2014 but he tells me that with twins full term is 38wks, which would put us in January 19th.

I can NOT believe that I have two babies in there. WOWZA!

Our next appointment is on June 26th, I’ll be 8wks and 3 days then. Here’s PRAYING that both of them are still there and doing well.

Please say a prayer for us.

BTW: My sweet husband was there with me of course. I was so busy crying and staring at the screen that I didn’t have time to turn around to look at him. Next thing I know, I hear the doctor telling him that if he wants he can come closer to record the ultrasound. So Tom stood up and moved closer. He got everything on video and I’m SO GLAD that he did. Tom is so excited about this, it is so beautiful to see.

 

 

Fears crashing down on me

images

Today seems to be a difficult day for me. I woke up consumed by fear. Tomorrow is our very first ultrasound and I can not stop shaking, fearing for the worst.

What if there isn’t a baby in there? What if there is but he/she is in the wrong place? What if there isn’t a heart beat?

There are so many unanswered questions that just seem to consume every inch of my body.

Of course I talked to Tom about my fears this morning, and of course, he just lay his head on my belly and told me not to worry because his little princess was growing happily inside of my belly. Of course, that just made me all teary and sentimental

This entire process of Infertility seems to take over you entire sense of security and faith. I pray every day to God to show me that these crazy thoughts in my head are just not true and to show me the way to his blessings.

I pray to God that he will give me a miracle to keep, another miracle that I’ll be able to hold in my arms and watch him/her grow.

It’s been very difficult to stay focused and calm today. I wish I could just go to sleep and wake up tomorrow laying at the ultrasound table.

Oh that table, I know I’ll be so afraid of looking at the screen but at the same time I know that I won’t be able to help myself.

All of this time I’ve been telling myself that we are pregnant and that we have two beautiful babies in there. Why am I doubting all of it now?

I have no idea why. Well, I know why. It’s because I have had 3 losses and I don’t want to go through that pain again. Yes I have been blessed with a beautiful baby boy who I love so freaking much. There’s only so much squeezing that he’ll let me do to him. lol

I’m so afraid that there isn’t a baby in there and that I”ll have to tell him that mommy no longer has a baby inside of her belly.
The thought of that bring me down to my knees in tears.

Agh, I hate this feeling and I don’t wish it upon anyone. I don’t have enemies but if I did I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemies.

So here’s for a better day tomorrow. Here’s for a miracle that is healthy and growing in the right place. Snuggled inside of mommy.

 

 

Beta #3

jQM_beta3

Last week I had requested another beta test because I can not just wait around and not know what is going on in there.

Well, it’s a good thing I did, because what do you know, yesterday I had some very very mild spotting and it freaked me out. So it’s a good thing I already had an appointment.

After my 8am appointment I waited and waited, It’s amazing how a couple of hours feels like forever and a half when you’re waiting for a phone call. I felt like a 14yr old waiting to the boyfriend to call after a fight. So ridiculous.

So finally I got the phone call. My levels are at 2,631 !!!!!!

I’m so freaking excited it’s not even funny. My P4 is still >40 so I’ll keep with the levels of PIO.

So, now I’ll wait until next week for my ultrasound. Only nine more days until our ultrasound!!! AHHHHHHH

Is it Monday Yet?

is_it_monday_yet_sweatshirt

It is very strange to wish for Monday when it’s a beautiful friday day!!!

But I ended up calling the RE’s office to ask a question about the PIO shots and I ended up giving in and asking for another beta test.

They tell me that I don’t need it but that if I really want to I could get another test done.

I said, SURE, when can I come in? So we set it up for this Monday since it’s going to be exactly 1 week since my last beta.

That means that I’m dying just waiting for the day to get here then I’ll be torturing myself watching the phone for them to call me with my results, and man I have tons of meetings that day.
It is what it is, I’ll be carrying my phone with me where ever I go and if I rings and it shows up the RE”s office number, I will excuse myself and go answer. Sorry……….

As far as myself, I’ve been doing ok. I don’t say great because I’m still so worried about the what ifs and the uncertainty of this entire process.

I belong to a wonderful group of ladies that have also gone through IVF and there’s just been so many different bad things happen that it’s got me wondering if I’m next.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about these wonderful ladies, it’s just that it reminds me of everything that I have gone through and everything that could go wrong.

It’s a double sword, because once you know all the things that could possibly go wrong it is SO hard to look at all of the positive things that also could happen.

I know some of you are thinking, “relax, just enjoy”, but unfortunately it is much easier said than done. After you have gone through IF and loss you just automatically wait for the worst to happen.

Anyways, I still have obsessively been testing to make sure that the line isn’t getting lighter.

Yes I know I’m crazy but that’s me.

Here’s hoping for the most amazing news on monday. Cross your fingers for me!!!