Second Ultrasound………and playing tricks on me already.

I had our ultrasound yesterday (6/26) and as always I was SUPER nervous. I mean, really, really nervous.

My bp was 130/88 which it’s not too bad but it’s still high.

Unfortunately Tom was not able to go with me as he is out of the country with work. đŸ˜¦Â  Yet he was able to talk to me and keep me calm throughout the process. He’s amazing.

So, there I was, sitting at the table and waiting for my turn. Doc comes in and asks me how I’m doing. Of course I tell him that I’m super nervous and I hope that the babies are still there. He tells me to try and breath and lets take a look.

So, my usual ultrasound tech wasn’t there, which made me nervous, but I have to trust the doc so there I go.

The ultrasound starts and I saw baby A, i couldn’t see the heart beat but at least I got a glimpse of the baby. Then she moved to baby B and was looking around for what it felt like FOREVER. Doc looked worried, he said to me, well, maybe he stopped growing. Of course, as soon as he said that, the tech found him (I’m guessing on the gender here).

There he was, baby B was just playing hide and seek with us. Ai ai ai

So, now that we saw both babies and their little hearts beating away we were ready to do the measurements. So since baby B gave us the most trouble we started with him.

Baby B was measuring at 8wks and 3 days and with a heart rate of 167 bpm!!! Looking beautiful. Such a difference from 112 from last time.

Baby B 8w3D

Baby A was measuring at 8wks and 4 days and with a heart rate of 180 bpm!!! Also looking beautiful of course.

 

Baby A 8w4D

It was amazing how different the heart beats were between each baby. It was crazy.

They were not moving around, which I’m guessing it’s because they were asleep.

So, with all of that, doc took me to his office. He told me that I can resume my normal activities, pick our son up, do the baby dance, whatever.

I can stop the estrogen patches as of today and I am to take the progesterone until I am 10wks. Which is exactly in 10 days. But who is counting, right??? lol

I have graduated from my RE and I can now see a regular OB. We talked about which OB for me to see and he is referring me to Dr.Wheeler who is a specialist in town and very well known. We shall see how it goes.

I have my first meeting/appointment with him on July 1st, so we shall see how that’s going to go.

My sweet RE reminded me of our frozen embryos and told me how much “easier” that would be versus a full IVF process. I think Tom would flip out if I even suggested the idea of more kids right now. LOL

 

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First Ultrasound Update

I’m sorry I haven’t posted but I’m been pretty busy lately. My sweet husband is out of town for work and it’s been busy without him around.

So, anyways.

We had our first ultrasound with our RE on June 12th. When we got there I could barely breathe. I’m not even kidding you. I don’t remember breathing AT ALL.

They called  me in, took my weight (as a part of the torture process) and then she brought in the little blood pressure machine. I told her that it probably wasn’t a good idea because I was sure it was going to be through the roof. She took it and said that it was high but never told me the numbers.

Our wonderful RE walked in and asked if I was ready. I told him that I was so nervous that my heart was beating a million beats per minute and I just needed to know that there was a baby in there. He gave me the, “let’s just keep our hopes up” speech. you know, that really doesn’t help at times like these.

So, there we were, the ultrasound wand and I were about to meet. She moved it around and we saw a beautiful sac there and the doc said right away that there was a heartbeat. Then she moved it and there it was, a second sac. I immediately started crying, not like crazy crying, but tears were running down my face.

He told me to breath and told me that now we were going to be measuring them. Yes, he said THEM.

Our beautiful babies

Our beautiful babies

Baby A was measuring 6wks and 2 days with a heart rate of 112. Baby B was measuring 6wks 4 days with a heart rate of 120.

The sac for baby A looked a little smaller but my RE said that it was normal and for me not to worry about it. We got to hear their hearts beating and everything. Needless to say it was just amazing.

We talked about my spotting and doc doesn’t seem concerned about it. I asked about vanishing twins and he said that although there’s a 7% chance of that happening, that he was pretty confident that our twins looked great and he wasn’t worried about it.

Our estimated due date is February 2, 2014 but he tells me that with twins full term is 38wks, which would put us in January 19th.

I can NOT believe that I have two babies in there. WOWZA!

Our next appointment is on June 26th, I’ll be 8wks and 3 days then. Here’s PRAYING that both of them are still there and doing well.

Please say a prayer for us.

BTW: My sweet husband was there with me of course. I was so busy crying and staring at the screen that I didn’t have time to turn around to look at him. Next thing I know, I hear the doctor telling him that if he wants he can come closer to record the ultrasound. So Tom stood up and moved closer. He got everything on video and I’m SO GLAD that he did. Tom is so excited about this, it is so beautiful to see.

 

 

Fears crashing down on me

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Today seems to be a difficult day for me. I woke up consumed by fear. Tomorrow is our very first ultrasound and I can not stop shaking, fearing for the worst.

What if there isn’t a baby in there? What if there is but he/she is in the wrong place? What if there isn’t a heart beat?

There are so many unanswered questions that just seem to consume every inch of my body.

Of course I talked to Tom about my fears this morning, and of course, he just lay his head on my belly and told me not to worry because his little princess was growing happily inside of my belly. Of course, that just made me all teary and sentimental

This entire process of Infertility seems to take over you entire sense of security and faith. I pray every day to God to show me that these crazy thoughts in my head are just not true and to show me the way to his blessings.

I pray to God that he will give me a miracle to keep, another miracle that I’ll be able to hold in my arms and watch him/her grow.

It’s been very difficult to stay focused and calm today. I wish I could just go to sleep and wake up tomorrow laying at the ultrasound table.

Oh that table, I know I’ll be so afraid of looking at the screen but at the same time I know that I won’t be able to help myself.

All of this time I’ve been telling myself that we are pregnant and that we have two beautiful babies in there. Why am I doubting all of it now?

I have no idea why. Well, I know why. It’s because I have had 3 losses and I don’t want to go through that pain again. Yes I have been blessed with a beautiful baby boy who I love so freaking much. There’s only so much squeezing that he’ll let me do to him. lol

I’m so afraid that there isn’t a baby in there and that I”ll have to tell him that mommy no longer has a baby inside of her belly.
The thought of that bring me down to my knees in tears.

Agh, I hate this feeling and I don’t wish it upon anyone. I don’t have enemies but if I did I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemies.

So here’s for a better day tomorrow. Here’s for a miracle that is healthy and growing in the right place. Snuggled inside of mommy.

 

 

Beta #3

jQM_beta3

Last week I had requested another beta test because I can not just wait around and not know what is going on in there.

Well, it’s a good thing I did, because what do you know, yesterday I had some very very mild spotting and it freaked me out. So it’s a good thing I already had an appointment.

After my 8am appointment I waited and waited, It’s amazing how a couple of hours feels like forever and a half when you’re waiting for a phone call. I felt like a 14yr old waiting to the boyfriend to call after a fight. So ridiculous.

So finally I got the phone call. My levels are at 2,631 !!!!!!

I’m so freaking excited it’s not even funny. My P4 is still >40 so I’ll keep with the levels of PIO.

So, now I’ll wait until next week for my ultrasound. Only nine more days until our ultrasound!!! AHHHHHHH