Is it Monday Yet?

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It is very strange to wish for Monday when it’s a beautiful friday day!!!

But I ended up calling the RE’s office to ask a question about the PIO shots and I ended up giving in and asking for another beta test.

They tell me that I don’t need it but that if I really want to I could get another test done.

I said, SURE, when can I come in? So we set it up for this Monday since it’s going to be exactly 1 week since my last beta.

That means that I’m dying just waiting for the day to get here then I’ll be torturing myself watching the phone for them to call me with my results, and man I have tons of meetings that day.
It is what it is, I’ll be carrying my phone with me where ever I go and if I rings and it shows up the RE”s office number, I will excuse myself and go answer. Sorry……….

As far as myself, I’ve been doing ok. I don’t say great because I’m still so worried about the what ifs and the uncertainty of this entire process.

I belong to a wonderful group of ladies that have also gone through IVF and there’s just been so many different bad things happen that it’s got me wondering if I’m next.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about these wonderful ladies, it’s just that it reminds me of everything that I have gone through and everything that could go wrong.

It’s a double sword, because once you know all the things that could possibly go wrong it is SO hard to look at all of the positive things that also could happen.

I know some of you are thinking, “relax, just enjoy”, but unfortunately it is much easier said than done. After you have gone through IF and loss you just automatically wait for the worst to happen.

Anyways, I still have obsessively been testing to make sure that the line isn’t getting lighter.

Yes I know I’m crazy but that’s me.

Here’s hoping for the most amazing news on monday. Cross your fingers for me!!!

 

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Waiting and waiting………..I HATE IT

How I wish it was that easy/

How I wish it was that easy

I’m here to just let my feelings all hang out and get my emotions out.

It’s been 2 days since my last beta test and it feels like an eternity. I have these moments when I’m super calm and I know that I can do this, I can wait another 2 weeks until our ultrasound. Then there are these moments when I’m so freaked out of the unknown that I can not wait any longer.

For me one of the worst things about this process is how much we have to wait. It is so funny because one we pass all of these hurdles and we have our little ones in our arms, we know that those were not long waits and that we were just working ourselves up. But right now, right this second, my mind can not acknowledge all of this and can not accept that two weeks is not that far away.

Yesterday I called and spoke with one of the nurses and she was so calming and reassuring that I believed it. I was calm and I stayed calm all day long after talking to her. She did mention to me that if I wanted to that they could run another hcg level for me later one, I guess all I had to do was ask.

For whatever reason I didn’t ask for one. I took her words and believed that everything is ok. I have thought about asking for another beta for next Monday but I’m not sure if I will do that or not. I even had some IF friends tell me to just call them and let them know that I’m super crampy and that something doesn’t feel right and they should bring me in early for an ultrasound.

The thing is, if I do that and I don’t like the answer, that’s just going to make me even more nervous. That much I know.

So for now, I am trying my so very best to not go completely insane. I’m not so sure how long this is going to last.

I guess I do have plenty of symptoms and I can’t complain about that. But are they real or are they caused by the progesterone?? I have no idea.

So far I have experienced: pimples in my face and arms, nausea, tiredness, sour taste in my mouth, heartburn, and extreme bouts of hunger. Not to mention the good ol’ mood swings.

Do I feel pregnant, yes. Is it real or is it all my head? I have no clue.

I guess only time will tell.

Beta #1 and Beta #2 update

Good Morning everyone!!

So I had appointments scheduled for monday and wednesday for blood work and although I had wished it was earlier I was ok with it.

Then on Friday night, I’m minding my own business when I noticed some spotting. I, of course, FREAKED OUT! I called the on call doctor who happened to be Dr.Will and he is such a sweetie. He’s not my regular RE but he is the one who performed my Egg Retrieval and some other tests.

He tries to calm me down and asks me tons of questions. After much talking, I asked him if it was possible to go in on Saturday to get my bloodwork done and check my Progesterone levels. He agreed with me and asked me to just let the nurses know that he ok it the night before.

Of course, I was at their office by 7:3o in the morning. I didn’t sleep well the night before worrying about all of this.

I spoke with the nurse and she didn’t even blink. She asked if I also wanted my hcg levels checked and of course i said YES.

I left their office by 8am and headed home. I wasn’t expecting a call until about noon. At 10:30am she called me. She said your Hcg was 121, I said, excuse me, say what????????????????? ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY ONE????? She said, yes mam. My P4 was at 29 and it was good.

She was going to review it all with the RE and call me back. She did call back and said that although the P4 was good, Dr. Will wanted to increase the dosage to 1.5cc just to be safe. I have no problem with that. The needle is already in there, might as well be safe than sorry.

I kept my appointment for monday as they needed to check to make sure it was increasing properly. I went in at 8am for the bloodwork. She called me at about 11 am. My second Beta was 211. TWO HUNDRED AND ELEVEN?????

Beta#1 = 121 - 5/25- 13po Beta#2 = 211 - 5/27- 15po

Beta#1 = 121 – 5/25- 13po
Beta#2 = 211 – 5/27- 15po

I has increased 74.4% and they like to see it go up over 60%. The nurse says the doctor doesn’t need any more beta tests and for me to schedule my ultrasound. WHAT? That’s it? No more tests? Ultrasound already?

WOW so much information coming in all so fast. WOWZA. So our ultrasound is scheduled for June 12th at 9:30am. It seems SO freaking far away.

I have to say, those beta #s are super high for me. I have never had such high numbers with any of my previous pregnancies. here’s hoping for the best.

So, I guess as of right now I’m officially pregnant. Of course, we still have to get the ultrasound test done and make sure that the baby is on the right stop and has a heartbeat. Then there are other hurdles that I’ll have to go through before I’m ready to come out and say to everyone that I am indeed pregnant.

For now, you guys keep it as a secret ok??

7days Past 5 day Transfer…….the wait is so long

Today it’s been 7 days since we transferred our two beautiful embryos.

I know this might sound crazy, but until proven otherwise, Tom and I have been referring to this pregnancy as “them” “the babies” as if both embryos took. As if we’re having 2 babies.

The thought of it all has so many mixed feelings involved with it. But the most important one, is happiness. Because I know that no matter what happens, we will make it through it. If we only have one, or two. it doesn’t matter. Our lives will be blessed and everything will be ok (even if eventually).

Well, now to the hot topic of the day. Have I or have I not been testing? For those of you that have known me from the beginning of this journey (from six years ago), you KNOW that I’m a POAS – Pee On A Stick Addict and I’m not ashamed of it. It is the only thing that keeps me somewhat “sane” throughout this process. It’s the only thing I have some control of. When I pee and where I pee at. There I said it.

So, With all of that being said, YES I have been testing. I did things a little different this time around. I ordered online from Amazon a package of 50 Wondfos and I have been testing every day since after Retrieval so I would know when the trigger was out of my system.

Just as a recap, I triggered on May 10th, and by my sticks trigger was completely out of my system by May 16th. So of course I started testing the night after transfer. Yes, I know I”m crazy. But like I said, I’m fully aware of it.

Well, I had a trip for work and I still took with  me my sticks and I got a very very faint positive at 2 days past transfer. It was one of those positives that you need a flashlight and just the right tilt of your head to see. So of course I kept testing, only using the Wondfos.

On May 21st, which it was 4 days past transfer I was to come back home and I decided to stop at the store and grab some FRER tests as well as some digital ones. As soon as I walked in at home I went straight to do the deed and YES the second line showed up right away. It wasn’t strong but it was right there looking at me. Now my husband is starting to believe but he is still SO afraid of it all until we get our blood work done.

Needless to say I’ve been using the same tests and have been testing around the same time everyday. The lines for the FRER are so strong that my IVF group ladies keep saying that there’s no way that there aren’t 2 babies in there. And as I said before, We have always been referring to this pregnancies as babieS since we did put 2 beautiful embryos back (as you can see from the post below)

Unfortunately I won’t be able to get in for blood work until Monday 5/27. I know it’s a holiday but they’re still open there so that’s when I’m going. I won’t lie, I’m DYING to know already and this waiting SUCKS. We seem to always be able to get positive pregnancy sticks but we don’t get pass the beta tests, which is just HELL. So, wish me luck everyone.

Here’s the most updated picture of my testing. Remember yesterday was day 6.

Can this really be happening this time for us ??

Can this really be happening this time for us ??

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Egg Transfer – D. Day!!!!!

Our Beautiful Embryos! They look amazing to me!

Our Beautiful Embryos! They look amazing to me!

Here we were, the day was finally here. Our little embryos were finally going back to where they belong.

We decided that it would be best if our handsome boy stayed at daycare while we did this, since the last time he kind of freaked out that mommy was asleep under anesthesia and all.

So we dropped him off a little early and we set course to Indy. We got there just short of 9:20am and their office was quite busy. But we knew that for us it didn’t matter since we were there for an egg transfer.

They took me in for more blood work and then we just waited. The waiting was torture as I had a very full bladder. The OR nurse finally called us in and I told her that I was pretty uncomfortable with the full bladder and she allowed me to dispose of a cup. Then of course she came back in and gave me a cup of water and my Valium. She said it would allow me to not care.

My sweet doctor comes in a while latter and apologizes for running a little late (maybe he was 5-10mins late) he asked me if I was ready and I told him that I was about to pee my pants.

He informed me that we had 2 beautiful embryos and we even had 2 that were frozen.

The process of transfer was only painful because of the fullness of my bladder.
The technician said “wow that’s pretty full” I told her yes and it hurts. They showed me the Petri dish to confirm that it was me and then the biologist proceeded to suck them into the catheter and handed them to the doctor.

By that time everything that needed to be ready in me was already in place. We watched closely in the screen as he inserted the catheter and then released the embryos into my uterus. It was just amazing.

I was lowered from the table, the biologist took the catheter to confirm that all the embryos has been released and then they’d wheeled me back to my room where I got to lay there for 15minutes before I was allowed to get ready to leave.

Of course before I could do that I had to go empty that bladder.

That’s pretty much how everything went. The day of transfer I really just lay around and didn’t o much, the day after I was being lazy too and then I was on the cleaner to resume normal activities.

Today is only day 3 past transfer and I’m still planning on taking it easy.

Fertility Report & Updates

Here’s me trying to catch up with everything that had happened.

The day after transfer I was quite sore, I’m not going to lie. It’s not like it was horrible but sudden coughs or sneezing was painful.

I took it very easy but went to work the same day. Since I was at work I made sure to only take Tylenol and nothing stronger because of where I work and it involves a kitchen from time to time.

Then I got the call from the lab. They said that out of the 18 eggs, 14 were mature eggs. Out of the 14 eggs 10 of them were fertilized (with ICSI ) and were still growing strong. Yay that was good news I guess.

I also had to go get more blood work on Wednesday (3 days past retrieval) at my “local” RE. The nurses there are so sweet and so awesome. I told them how nervous I was since I didn’t know how my embryos were doing and the encouraged me to call the lab and ask.
In the meantime my bloodwork results came back and my E2 was 2,204 and myP4 was higher than 40 so that was good.

I finally called the biologist and they told me how the embryos were doing and how all 10 were still growing, with all being over 6 cells and one of then actually being at a 14 cell. They all looked great and they had clean and clear margins. So I guess that was all good.

By the end of Wednesday I got the call letting me know that I has to be at the office down in Indy by 9:20 am and that my transfer was going to happen at 10:15am,Yay so exciting.

Egg Retrieval’s mother’s day gift.

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From the last post lots has happened.  On Friday, May 10th, I went in for another check up. I’ve been going in every day since Wednesday.

On Friday they saw 16 follicles on my right ovary and 11 on my left. My lining was 14.4mm and my E2 was 3,700 (they had slowed me down on the meds the night before). So they told me to trigger at 9pm.

There I was staring at that HCG shot wondering if I could do it myself. I am proud to say that YES I did. I actually gave myself the shot in the thigh. I asked Tom to NOT be near me and if I needed him, he would know. I did it. It wasn’t as bad as I had thought at all. I had a heating pad with me for after the shot and I used that. It stung for a little bit but it wasn’t too bad.

On Saturday morning I went in for another appointment, This time it was for blood work and for a pre-op appointment. Where they told me all about the procedure, what to expect and what to do next. My blood work came back with my HCG at 16.2 and my LH at 65.5 ( I think). I also get a second shot of Lupron in the office after my blood work was done.

So, I was told to be at their office down south at 7am for my Egg Retrieval on mother’s day! YAY!

We drove up the day before and spent the day at the Zoo as well as spent the night there since it’s about 2.5hrs away from home. We arrived at the office and I was taken back right away.

An IV was applied and the meds started. If I remember it correctly, I got some Tylenol and some antibiotics. I met 3 nurses, the biologist, the anesthesiologist and then the doctor came in. The funniest part was my sweet little boy. Every time someone would come in, he would tell them “I want a Maya please”. Everyone was confused as to what he was talking about and I had to explain that he says he wants a baby sister. LOL

I left with some pain meds and went home. I won’t lie to you, I was pretty sore when I got home. I did take a couple more pills by the end of the day. It almost reminded me of how my uterus felt after my c-section.

The time I felt it the most was when I went to the ladies room. I know TMI but I have to let u all know how this feels. Today is the second day after ER and I”m feeling a lot better. I’m still a little sore but nothing more than what I felt like while taking my hormones to stimulate my ovaries.