Carrying on with life……


Well it’s almost been 2 weeks since we found out that we lost our pregnancy and as one would expect life keeps on going and we got to keep on moving.

I can’t help but think about today. I know it is so very silly of me but if we were still pregnant we would be going in for an ultrasound today. I already had that in mind so it’s kind of hard to not “remember” it. I most likely won’t be mentioning any of this to my dear husband or anyone else for that matter but here I am posting about it. I sometimes feel like this should matter to someone……. it just should

Our little family has so much going on lately that it’s been keeping me busy for sure……….and when i least expect and think that we are so busy that I don’t even have time to think about what has happened…………….it hits me and I’m thinking about it. It’s just insane and it makes no sense.

My big 30 birthday is approaching and it’s getting to me. It has nothing to do with the actual age itself but the fact that I don’t have more kids in our family.

I know this might sound silly to some, and I don’t mean to offend anyone by any means……….

It’s just that I had all of these plans in my life and I KNOW that most of them has not come anywhere near being accomplished but with all of that being said, there’s always been ONE thing that I didn’t even dare think that it wouldn’t happen. And that is being a mom, having a family.

Tom and I, we LOVE kids and I just don’t understand why it is so difficult for some to have them. Why those who want them the most are just not allowed to have them.

I get that going through this journey has made us stronger as a couple and most definitely as parents and that we are somehow a little different than some other parents or families…..that still doesn’t make much sense to me sometimes.

I just hope that I can one day understand His plans and why we had to go through this journey…………I wish to be able to look back and say “ohhh that’s why this had to happen to me” “this is what I learned from it”.
I sure hope that one day I will be that lucky.