Miscarriage. No matter how early it happens, it still counts

tumblr_mdvd25bZOY1rvm4aao1_250

Unfortunately I don’t have such good news.

I got a call from my RE’s office yesterday right before lunch. The sweet nurse said, “unfortunately it’s not good news”. Somehow I already knew this was going to happen. Part of me (a small part) was already ready to hear those words. She said that she was sorry and that she was really hoping to deliver good news to me. My beta came back at a 9.

After I got off the phone, I excused myself from the room (I was at work) and called my husband. I went into my car and just sat there talking to him and crying my eyes out. Of course he knew exactly what to say to me, as he always does. He told me that even though we thought that this was the perfect time and all that we were not giving up and that we would get pregnant again.

I sat in my car for a while longer after we talked because I looked like a clown after crying like that. I got myself back together and went back to work. My coworkers knew what was happening and they were super sweet as well.

Not a lot of people knew that we were pregnant but some did. I have to say that I have THE BEST support group. I have met these ladies through an IF forum and they’ve been with me ever since. Some of them I’ve never met but some I have and I’m always amazed at how AMAZING all of these ladies are.

I depend on them so much as well, I’m not sure they know how much I appreciate them and need them. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able the express how truly great full I am to have them in my life. I even got a voice mail from one of them and I’m just so blessed to have them in my life.

images

I just wanted to say that when you hear from someone that they had a miscarriage, don’t be afraid of it. You don’t have to say anything special to that person. All you have to say is “I’m sorry and I’m here for you”. Don’t get too involved on trying to say that this just wasn’t the time or that things happen for a reason. Trust me, we don’t want to hear those things right now and unfortunately we hear them a bit too often. All that we do need is to know that you are there for us and that you support us, that’s all.

So, what’s next for us? Right now I’m scheduled for more blood work for next Monday and if I start my period before hand, then I’ll just give my RE a call and go in to see him.

Side note: My RE (Dr.Colver) called me last night to see how I was doing and explain to me what has happened and why. We talked for a bit and he was very sweet. I love that he called and tried to comfort me.

So, once my period starts I’m not sure if we’re going to jump right back into action or sit out a cycle. I’ve read about the pros of trying right away but I’m not sure exactly if that’s a good idea or not, or even if my doctor is comfortable with that option or not. I guess we have to wait and see.

Just remember that just because it’s called a “chemical pregnancy” it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t count. I was pregnant for a little over 8 days and I was blessed. It counts, I love my little poppy seed and so did his daddy. We love you angel.

 

 

 

Advertisements

10 comments

  1. Makers Daughter · January 8, 2013

    Hi, first of all, I’m so sorry. You were pregnant and it always counts!
    I miscarried on New Year’s eve. The doctor told me that the heart wasn’t beating, this was a few days after Christmas, yet, I held hope, but it was not to be. My initial reaction to trying again was NO! I’m doing IVF as well and just couldn’t cope with the hormones , the wicked two week wait and then the heart pain and disappointment. My husband said we should try it a gain, but I really didn’t want to.
    But waiting for the miscarriage took several days, and the pain of it all only ended last Friday, but once that was all behind, I just wanted to try again and so for the first time in my life, I’m looking forward to having my menses. 😀
    Only you can decide when you are ready.
    Good luck, I’m looking forward to following you.

    • mrs.stork · January 8, 2013

      Unfortunately I’ve been through this before and it doesn’t get any easier.

      I’m sorry that you had to go through this as well. I don’t with this on anyone. It is just horrible.

      Thank you for saying that this counts……because it does.

      As for trying again, I know that we will, giving up is not an option for us. I just don’t know when that it’s going to be. I guess only time will tell.

      Thank you for your support.

  2. Jason Adams · January 8, 2013

    My heart goes out to anyone who’s lost a child in any capacity, and my condolences to you for your loss. My best friend and his wife lost a child due to miscarriage and I saw what it did to them. My wife and I did all that we could to be there for them and comfort them, but we still weren’t sure if what we were doing was helping. We heard about a book that we got for them as a gift called “There Was Supposed To Be a Baby” by Catherine Keating, you can check her and the book on the website http://therewassupposedtobe.com/. After they read it they said what a wonderful book and comfort it was to them. Wishing you the ability to find peace and I’m so sorry for the loss you have endured.

    • mrs.stork · January 9, 2013

      Thank you so much for your kind words. It is hard to know how to be there for someone during any difficult time of our lives but miscarriage is something that most people don’t understand. The truth is that it’s even hard for those that have gone through it to be there for others……

      I’m sure that your friends are very grateful to have had you and your wife there for them. I appreciate your support and I will definitely look into this book. I can for sure use some support right now.

  3. hopieh · January 9, 2013

    so sorry for your loss. it definitely counts.
    blessings and comfort to you and your family.

  4. Pingback: A Shared Story, A Lovely Resource - There Was Supposed to be a Baby
  5. Catherine Keating · January 10, 2013

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. I love the title of your post – it’s so true…No Matter How Early, It Still Counts. I’m sending you love and support from afar, and hoping that the days ahead bring some peace.

    • mrs.stork · January 10, 2013

      Thank you so very much for your support. This journey is not an easy one to take but it makes us all stronger.

  6. sunykluckow · February 15, 2013

    Please feel free to check out my blog – I hope it offers some comfort babiesfromjesus.wordpress.com

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s