Miscarriage. No matter how early it happens, it still counts

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Unfortunately I don’t have such good news.

I got a call from my RE’s office yesterday right before lunch. The sweet nurse said, “unfortunately it’s not good news”. Somehow I already knew this was going to happen. Part of me (a small part) was already ready to hear those words. She said that she was sorry and that she was really hoping to deliver good news to me. My beta came back at a 9.

After I got off the phone, I excused myself from the room (I was at work) and called my husband. I went into my car and just sat there talking to him and crying my eyes out. Of course he knew exactly what to say to me, as he always does. He told me that even though we thought that this was the perfect time and all that we were not giving up and that we would get pregnant again.

I sat in my car for a while longer after we talked because I looked like a clown after crying like that. I got myself back together and went back to work. My coworkers knew what was happening and they were super sweet as well.

Not a lot of people knew that we were pregnant but some did. I have to say that I have THE BEST support group. I have met these ladies through an IF forum and they’ve been with me ever since. Some of them I’ve never met but some I have and I’m always amazed at how AMAZING all of these ladies are.

I depend on them so much as well, I’m not sure they know how much I appreciate them and need them. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able the express how truly great full I am to have them in my life. I even got a voice mail from one of them and I’m just so blessed to have them in my life.

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I just wanted to say that when you hear from someone that they had a miscarriage, don’t be afraid of it. You don’t have to say anything special to that person. All you have to say is “I’m sorry and I’m here for you”. Don’t get too involved on trying to say that this just wasn’t the time or that things happen for a reason. Trust me, we don’t want to hear those things right now and unfortunately we hear them a bit too often. All that we do need is to know that you are there for us and that you support us, that’s all.

So, what’s next for us? Right now I’m scheduled for more blood work for next Monday and if I start my period before hand, then I’ll just give my RE a call and go in to see him.

Side note: My RE (Dr.Colver) called me last night to see how I was doing and explain to me what has happened and why. We talked for a bit and he was very sweet. I love that he called and tried to comfort me.

So, once my period starts I’m not sure if we’re going to jump right back into action or sit out a cycle. I’ve read about the pros of trying right away but I’m not sure exactly if that’s a good idea or not, or even if my doctor is comfortable with that option or not. I guess we have to wait and see.

Just remember that just because it’s called a “chemical pregnancy” it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t count. I was pregnant for a little over 8 days and I was blessed. It counts, I love my little poppy seed and so did his daddy. We love you angel.

 

 

 

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