Pregnant? Maybe…….still in limbo and hoping for a miracle


I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a while but things are so confusing that I’m not even sure what to say.

I started to test when I was 7dpiui. I got negatives on day 7,8 and9.  For some odd reason, right after midnight on December 31st I walked into my bathroom and grabbed a stick. I looked at it and said out loud “I’m going to pee on you and I”m not leaving until you show me a second line, I mean it”

There I was, just past midnight and I was determined to get a Big Fat Positive. I sat there waiting and I thought that I was imagining things. I saw the faintest (and I really mean the faintest) second line ever! I called the husband over to look at it and with the help of a flashlight (Yes you read this right, I used a flashlight) he was able to see it.

Of course after that I tested everyday and everyday the lines were getting darker. So this past Wednesday 11dpiui I decided to call my Re’s office and let them know that I tested positive. They left it to me to get a blood work now or later. Of course I decided to do it that same day. I guess I shouldn’t have.

I got a call the next day that my beta was at a 12. The nurse said that since it was so early, that she expected that and that all it meant was that I was pregnant and that we needed to repeat it on friday. I went in on friday at 13dpiui and got yet another beta done, but this time I had to use a different lab because of the hours and all.

I got the call. My beta came back at a 15! Big wooping POOOO.

what next

My Re’s nurse is super sweet. she told me not to give up and since I was still testing early it could catch back up and thing could be ok.

So here I am. Am I pregnant? I guess so. Will I stay pregnant ? I have no flipping clue.

Today is the actual day that I was suppose to test and of course I tested this morning and the line is darker than ever. I don’t know what to make of it. All of this is confusing and I’m trying MY BEST to not be negative and think of the best outcome but I guess it’s not in my nature to think that way.

I’m not going to lie, I’m feeling somewhat pregnant. I have on and off nausea, my bbs are sore and I’m overly tired. But then again it could all be from the Endometrin.

All that I can do now is continue to pee on the stick and hope for the best. I’ve read some amazing stories of success with such low betas BUT I’ve read A LOT MORE losses than anything. Soooooooo as much as I wish to believe that miracles can happen………it’s hard to when the history of it all says so otherwise.

So for today, I’m going to try and enjoy that I’m “pregnant” and just PRAY to God that a miracle will happen and that everything is going to be ok.