Keep on Trying = BFN

 

The dreadful 2 week wait is over and unfortunately we did not get pregnant. I’m not going to lie, the waiting to find out was pure torture.

I guess I assumed that since I already have a miracle in our lives that perhaps I would not stress over all of this so much and man was I so very wrong.

I won’t lie here, what got me through it all was my sweet little boy. I would tell him that I wasn’t feeling good and needed a hug and he would hug me and kiss me and for that split second, everything melted away and I felt at peace

It is very strange that I felt so very pregnant (and still do) and yet we didn’t get pregnant. I’m not sure how to explain it to everyone, I just did and I guess I was (again) very wrong.

So, what’s next for us? Well, here I am waiting for aunt flow to show her ugly face so I can then start on birth control pills. I’m very sure that I still have cysts since I can feel my ovaries being very sore still.

Our new RE has a very different protocol than or old one. He wants me to take the BCP and wait for AF to show up before I come in. My old one did not do that and that’s strange for me. But I can’t change how he works so it is what it is.

I’m not even sure what I want to do about going through treatment during the hard winter. I have to drive for over 1 hour on a good day to be monitored so I don’t know what I want to do when there’s snow on the ground. Perhaps I can convince my doctor to be ok with my OB monitoring me while I undergo treatments? I don’t know, i guess I won’t know until I ask.

We are packing up and going on a little vacation to see a dear friend of mine and I’m so very excited about it.

We will be spending Thanksgiving with her and her family and I’m sooooo excited. It will also help us forget about all of this journey and I’m hoping that some other, better news will come along with this little visit.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!! Stay strong, stay positive!!!

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