Supporting a friend & Infertility

I’ve been meaning to write this post for a while. It is amazing how infertility touches people. No matter how many year go by, how many kids you have or how many people you talk to, it just never goes away. That is just a fact.

I have met the most wonderful, amazing people throughout this journey. My son is 16 months now and my infertility sisters and I still keep in touch. I have gone through so much in life, things that are not related to infertility at all, and they have helped me every step of the way. I couldn’t have done it without them. They have been wonderful friends and I’m very thankful for that.

This post is to support a friend. I know this beautiful couple. We have a lot in common, where we come from, our personalities, our views in life. Unfortunately we also share this hard path in life of infertility. We’ve known each other for a while now yet we had no idea we shared this painful road in life.

This beautiful couple have endured a lot. Although she doesn’t see it, she is much stronger than I’ll ever be. Her angel babies and my angel baby are all playing together in heaven. that I know is true. I also know that she will beat this. She’s already a mom, that is a fact, but she will hold her baby in her arms one day. I just know it.

I want her to know that I’m here for her. I’m the type of person that like to share and talk about all of this. It’s how I cope. It’s how I manage this madness, this unfairness.
She’s a lot more conservative than I am and I understand that. I wish she understood that there’s so much help out there. So much love and support. I can not tell you how these ladies have helped me. I know that without them I couldn’t have done it all. It’s strange since I have never met any of them in person, yet I feel like I’ve known them for years. Actually, I have known some of them for just about 5 years now.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I know how hard all of this is and I wish you guys didn’t have to go through this. No one should. I’ll say it here, It is NOT fair that for those who want kids we can’t have and for some having kids is as easy as sneezing (as my dad would say). No, it is not fair. I often wish I could scream into the world, WHY? What have we done? Why us? I might actually have done that more than once……….but I haven’t heard anything back yet.

Infertility has taught us so many lessons. For me the biggest change was with my marriage. We actually got to be much closer than we were before. We understood that this was a problem that WE needed to face, that WE would figure out, that WE would conquer. There were many days that I was down and my sweet husband came to my rescue, and there were days that he was down and I had to be the strong one. There was never any shame on that.

Infertility taught me that I have to learn to ask for help. That as much as I wish I could do it all and fix it all myself, that I just can’t. Many people that knows me, knows that I’m not a very patient person. Well, I’m glad I’m that way. If I didn’t “rush” into wanting a child, I would have never known that we have infertility problems.

I won’t lie, when you first hear about the treatments, the possible outcomes, the possibility of multiples and complications……..it is the scariest thing you’ll ever hear. Then you realize that you are willing to do whatever it takes to become a mom, a parent. You realize that you’re willing to give your life in order to create one. You realize that all the problems you had endured in the past are NOTHING compared to what you’re willing to do to achieve the dream of parenthood.

The doctor’s appointments, the ultrasounds, the shots, the insemination………none of that matters. Because once you get through it all, the prize is amazing. I can’t even begin to describe it.

I also want you to know one thing. Just because you have chosen to go this path, you know, the one that you ask a doctor for help. It does NOT mean that you can’t or won’t be able to have a child on your own. It does NOT make you less of a woman. It does NOT make you any less than what you are. It does make you STRONG. It shows how DETERMINED and STRONG WILL you are. It shows that you won’t be sitting back and watching life pass you by. You are TAKING charge of your own destiny and you are going to make your dreams come true.

So, sweet friend. I know all of this is new to you. I know that all of this is scary as hell. I wish I could take it away from you guys. I wish that you didn’t have to endure all this pain. But know this. I KNOW you’ll have your miracle in your hands. I KNOW that your dreams will come true.

As I have said before. I’m here for you. Day and night, no matter what time of the day. I’m here for you.

I know this post didn’t scare you too much.

We love you.