21 weeks!

Today we’re 21 weeks!!! I just can’t believe this is really happening. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so very excited but I can’t help but still be skeptical that something might go wrong.

I fear that one day I’ll wake up and find out that this was just a dream.

I’m trying not to let these fears hold me back. I’m preparing myself for a baby. Our nursery is painted, our furniture is painted and I ordered our crib this week. We’ll probably get it sometime next week and I just can’t wait to put it all together.

As far as pregnancy updates and all, as of my last OB appointment I had only gained a total of 3Lbs. Considering the fact that I initially lost 8Lb I’m still in the negative. We’ll see what I’ll look like when I go back to see them in 3 weeks.

As for symptoms, I guess the getting tired part is sneaking itself back. I do find myself tired at times and sometimes I even get out of breath. The breath thing is more when I overdo something or how I position myself, either sitting up or laying down. It’s very strange to be out of breath when you haven’t done anything.

I’m pretty sure that I’ve been feeling him move around quite often. It’s still not that kind of movement that you can feel from the outside or anything else but it’s that subtle movement that just assures me that he’s there. I can’t wait for Tom to start feeling him too.

One new thing that has been happening is soreness while I sleep. I don’t know exactly how to explain it other than my hip feels sore. Today I got some great advice from some of my online friends and they told me to prep my knee up and that should help. I’ll for sure try that. Bring on more pillows for me.

Our little Patryck is still growing. This is what one of the websites have to say about his growth.

Your baby continues to grow and develop inside of you. He now measures approximately 7 inches long and can weigh up to 10 ounces. In the coming weeks, your baby will continue to grow and mature at a fast rate.

The hair on his scalp is more visible and by week 21 he has probably developed eyelashes and eyebrows!

He is waking and sleeping in regular intervals, which you may be able to tell from his movements. He is also swallowing amniotic fluid to help his digestive system mature for life in the “outside world”. His intestines also start slowly relaxing and contracting this week.

Notice any small, repetitive movements in your abdomen? It may be his first case of the hiccups! Usually, these movements occur for a few minutes at a time. As your baby grows larger, these movements will feel stronger. And remember, all babies are different, some hiccup multiple times a day, and others, only once in awhile.


20 weeks – Half way there….OMG

I'm pretty sure he's telling us to "shut up" here. LOL

We’ve reached the half way mark and couldn’t be more excited. I’ve always heard people saying that they couldn’t believe that this was really happening and I think I had a hard time understanding and maybe relating to it. NOT anymore.

I think that perhaps people that have gone through IF treatments and miscarriages have a harder time believing and accepting good news. Or maybe it’s just me. I don’t know.

Regardless of the reasoning, I can’t believe I’m half way there, if I want to accept it or not.

Last week I gave in and let my sweet husband start painting the room. He’s been so excited about it and I couldn’t resist. We picked an amazing color, I couldn’t be happier. We also restored some furniture that we had and we’re going to customize it for him. They came out beautifully; all I have to do now is stencil it.

I’ve been feeling little Patryck move quite a bit. Sometimes more than others but I know it’s him. We’re now waiting so his daddy can feel him too. Tom is so anxious and wants to feel him so badly.

I have to put this out there and I’m not just saying this because he’s my husband.  Tom has been so wonderful throughout all of this. I really mean it. Infertility treatment, miscarriage, pregnancies, you name it.

This man has been more involved in everything that anyone I’ve ever known. Tom has only missed a doctor’s appointment since I’ve been pregnant once and that wasn’t his fault because they had to re-schedule me. Other than that, he’s always been there for me and for Patryck. Honey you need to know how precious and amazing this is. You need to know that you’re already a wonderful, amazing father. Patryck is so very lucky.

Yesterday we had a do-over of our 3D/4D ultrasound. A while back we had paid for it but our little man wasn’t very cooperative and they asked us to come back for a do-over. Free of charge. (YAY)
So, we went yesterday. It’s amazing how much he’s grown. It’s just one of those things that again, you know it’s happening but you just can’t believe it.

I have 5 fingers, see??

Patryck seems to love having his hands in his mouth. I’m not sure what’s with that but he sure kept it there.  It was so adorable. They made sure to triple check and his little wee-wee was there!
He was in a breached position and he kept hanging out right under my belly button, which made the 3D part a little more difficult, but we got some pictures.

He has grown so much!

I really want to pass 25 weeks so I can breathe a little easier. Every day I thank God that everything is going ok so far, but I still can’t help but have that constant fear that something might go wrong. Anyway, for now, I’ll try to think positive thoughts only and enjoy every second of being pregnant.

Level II ultrasound….being able to breathe a little better now.

Profile at 18 wks and 6 days

Yesterday we had our Level II ultrasound with the Perinatologist.  Every time I go into that office I get SO nervous it’s not even funny.

For some reason it wasn’t as busy as it usually is and I was glad. I was hoping to get the same nurse as we did before but we didn’t. For a second there I was a little bummed out but I soon realized that she cared just as much.

She was indeed very nice and we also asked her for a DVD. She didn’t “complain”, she just added it and on she went with the ultrasound. Of course, I immediately look for the heartbeat and I could see it right away. With that I was already relieved. She went on to tell me that all my blood work came back great and that our chances for downs and trisomy were slim to none.

I could finally breathe.

Our little one was not very cooperative. I’m convinced that he does not like ultrasound at all.

She measured my cervix and I’m almost sure that I saw a 5cm there. I asked if my cervix was ok and she said that it looked great.

On she went with the ultrasound. She measured every little thing (whenever our little one let her).

He kept his little legs crossed and kept moving his face away from us. As I said, not being very cooperative.

She said she was looking for anything that could be a “bad” sign. We got to watch his little heart pumping blood (she was checking for all the chambers), him opening and closing his mouth (checking for a cleft lip) and all of the other good stuff.

Everything was there and everything was just fine. Oh and we re-confirmed that it is a BOY and his little HB was 148.

It is a BOY!!

She congratulated us and gave is a bunch of pictures. I’m not kidding you we had something like 14 pictures given to us.

I got up and went to the girls bathroom. Tom asked for the DVD when she realized that she forgot to press “record”. When I heard that I was bummed out but then she said, “hop back on the table and let’s make a DVD”. WOW and we got a couple more pictures.

There I was watching him again and making sure that it was being recorded. She even threw a 3D image here and there for us. It was just amazing.

I did ask her for the actual numbers for the Down Syndrome and Trisomy and she said that it was something like 1 in 100,000 for downs and 1 in 15,000 for Trisomy. I’m sure she said more but I just  can’t remember it all. I was so excited and happy.

All is well then. I can breathe now.

We have an OB appointment next week, I’m sure just to check BP and weight and all.

Not sure when we’ll get to see our little one again.

I hope soon.

Ear, Legs and Foot. It's all there.

18 weeks and waiting for kicks.

Belly pic from up top.

We’re 18 weeks today!!! It’s funny because for some reason this morning I’m not feeling that pregnant. It can kind of freak me out though. Although I don’t feel like, I see the changes in my body and there’s no denying it.

My veins in my arms are so very visible. They’re usually not and I always have a hard time drawing blood. Now it looks like they would have so many different options to choose from.

Now, my bbs are just so incredibly huge. It’s not even funny. They are much bigger and heavier too. I can’t even imagine how much bigger they’re going to get. God help us all.

Belly view sitting down at the office

I can’t wait until I can start feeling the baby move around. I believe that I do already but it’s very seldom and not very noticeable. I can’t wait to start “complaining” of him jabbing me and causing me discomfort because of his positions.

We have our Level II ultrasound this upcoming Monday. Like always, I know I’ll be really freaked out about it. That’s just how I am I guess. It’s that fear that something is going to be wrong that scares the life out of me. On the other hand, I’m excited about seeing little baby again.

According to the weekly pregnancy emails that I get, our little one is about the size of a sweet potato now and my uterus is the size of a melon. WOW, aren’t we growing?!

I don’t think that I look that pregnant yet, unless you look at me sideways. My wide hips kind of hide the pregnancy I guess.

It’s spring already and although the weather has been kind of crazy around here I know that the heat is due in no time. Season allergies have arrived full force and I’ve been sneezing like crazy.
I have the typical stuffed nose problem that goes along with pregnancy and the allergies just don’t help.

We’re slowly building our baby registry and we have even bought a couple of things that were on clearance. It’s funny because we don’t seem to go for the typical blue for boy thing. I’ve found myself choosing a lot of greens and yellows. We even have brown and orange in the mix.

We have yet to buy something blue for him. The other day we got our first gift by mail. It’s just so exciting. Our very good friends sent us a couple of blue items, I should say, Patryck’s very first blue items. It’s just lovely. Getting gift are just so exciting.

Well, that’s it for now. I should get back to things here.

I’ll post an update after my appointment on Monday.

Side View 18 wks

17 weeks and Plans.

I turned 17 weeks yesterday. Some say that it has gone by fast where I say that it hasn’t at all. I think that when someone is so scared that something might go wrong, time just seems to go by so slowly.

I’ve been feeling ok so far. I’ve had this lingering sore throat and cough that has been with me for the last 10 days or so. It’s pretty annoying. At least my voice is back (most of the time).

Since all that I can take is Tylenol and halls, I’m pretty much stuck.

As far as cravings, they come and go. I’ve had them, but it’s not like I’ve been craving anything crazy or unusual. I usually crave salty food. Just the other day I wanted corn on the cob. Then some Caldo Verde (Brazilian food), and just yesterday while talking to a friend, he mentioned stroganoff and that was it. I HAD to have it for dinner. Which I have to say it was SO GOOD.

Tom has been so amazing; I don’t even know where to start. He’s been helping me so much around the house. He’s so very attentive and caring. I can’t complain (although I just might sometimes, which I’ll blame it on the hormones. LOL).

Yesterday when we got home I went to talk with our neighbor and I was gone for about one hour. When I got home, he had started cleaning and already had a couple of rooms all ready. His dad and uncle are coming to spend Easter with us and I mentioned that I needed help cleaning. Isn’t he just adorable?!

I’ve been talking to my mom (who is in Brazil visiting family) and she’s also been acting so cute. My family is so excited that they want to throw a baby shower for me there. They had this idea to dress my mom up with a fake belly and throw the shower as if I was there. It’s very sweet.

People would tell me that once I was pregnant that I would change my mind on some things (about my mom) and I always brushed it off and said no. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom and she’s amazing, but I always said that I would NOT have her in the delivery room.

Lately I’ve been thinking about that and it just feels wrong not to have her there. It feels wrong to take that from her. What if this is my one and only child? I can’t rob her of that moment. Do you know what I mean? I don’t know how it’s going to be, but for now, I think that I would love to have her there. We’ll see what happens.

My belly is growing and I can’t wait to start feeling him move. Sometimes I think that I do, but it’s not for sure and that noticeable yet. Just today Tom was telling me how our next big mile stone is painting the baby’s room. Because I asked him to wait until after my mom’s B-day. Why her b-day? Because I’ll be 25 weeks then and I think that we’ll be more on the “safe” zone.

Sometimes it scares me that we’re so very attached to him already. Wow that sounds horrible to read. After our loss in July I told myself that I wouldn’t get attached and would not name him/her until the end. Well, that’s not working out. Our little boy already has a name, everyone already calls him by his name. The idea of something happening to him just kills me inside.

Ok, back to trying to think positive. Our little boy’s name will be Patryck Marcondes Bocianski.
For those of you asking WTF? Let me explain. In Brazil we use the mother’s maiden last name as the child’s middle name and we don’t necessarily give two names. So, we’ll keep that tradition going.

Here’s the 17 weeks belly shot.

17 weeks Belly Picture.