12wks 1 day belly picture

Here’s a picture to show my pregnant/fat belly.

Please don’t mind the background it’s our changing room at work.

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Reaching 12 weeks!!

OMG is this for real? Am I really 12 weeks pregnant today?

Being an IF patient can really play tricks on you. You’re always dealing with mixed feelings. This rush of excitement and fear rushes through your veins separately or all at the same time and you have no control over it.

I can’t deny that I’m over the moon excited and I want to be able to scream to the entire world “I’M PREGNANT”. But then this fear of jinxing myself takes over and I feel paralyzed and I can’t bring myself to do it.

It seems that my DH and I have our roles switched around this time. Usually I’m the one who can’t keep a secret and I tell everyone right away. DH is usually the one that holds on to things and keep them a secret. Not this time though.

Tom has been spreading the word around and I don’t blame him for it. As for me, I’m still a little apprehensive and I want to wait until our NT scan before I start telling people.

Our NT scan is in 4 days and yet it seems so far away for me.

For those that don’ t know what an NT scan is, let me explain.

What is nuchal translucency?
This is a collection of fluid under the skin at the back of a baby’s neck. It can be measured using ultrasound when your baby is between 11 weeks and 13 weeks plus six days old. All babies have some fluid, but many babies with Down’s syndrome have an increased amount (Snijders et al 1998: 351, 343-6).

A nuchal translucency (NT) scan is a screening test which assesses whether your baby is likely to have Down’s syndrome. A screening test can only estimate the risk of your baby having Down’s, whereas a diagnostic test, such as CVS or amniocentesis will give you a definite diagnosis (but also carries a small risk of miscarriage).

The NT scan can’t tell for certain whether your baby is affected. However, it can help you decide whether or not to have a diagnostic test.

For us, we’re getting this test done because I’m one of those people that just have to know. Do you know what I mean? With that being said. Tom and I have talked about this and we’re both in the same page. It doesn’t matter what the results are. We’re accepting whatever it is that God has to give us.

We’re looking at this ultrasound more like a reassurance that our baby is doing ok and another chance to look at her/him. That’s about it. I’m not going to look into a CVS or amniocentesis test. Too risky for me.

As for me, I’ve been doing ok. I have not had any more spotting , which is SO good. I’ve had some nausea, tiredness, sore bbs and my emotions are all over the place.

I can cry for absolutely no idea. My patience seems to have disappeared and from time to time I have these hunger feelings that it makes me feel like I have not eaten in ages.

Today is my last day on the Endometrin and needless to say beside me being thrilled so is Tom. LOL.

We were told that after we reached 12 weeks that we were clear to do the baby dance. Dh has been counting the days. I’m on the other hand am very apprehensive, almost scared about it.

I know that I have to get over it and I will, I just need to get through the NT scan and I hope that I’ll breath a little easier.

How your baby’s growing:

The most dramatic development this week: reflexes. Your baby’s fingers will soon begin to open and close, his toes will curl, his eye muscles will clench, and his mouth will make sucking movements. In fact, if you prod your abdomen, your baby will squirm in response, although you won’t be able to feel it. His intestines, which have grown so fast that they protrude into the umbilical cord, will start to move into his abdominal cavity about now, and his kidneys will begin excreting urine into his bladder.

Meanwhile, nerve cells are multiplying rapidly, and in your baby’s brain, synapses are forming furiously. His face looks unquestionably human: His eyes have moved from the sides to the front of his head, and his ears are right where they should be. From crown to rump, your baby-to-be is just over 2 inches long (about the size of a lime) and weighs half an ounce.

11 weeks today!

I’m sorry I’ve been MIA but my computer at home broke down. I only have this very old laptop that I can use and it crashes all the time. We’re in need to buy a new computer and we’re looking into it.

As far as baby news, I finally had my first OB appointment on Tuesday. Dr.Sw is very sweet and apparently very well known. Ever since I made my appointment I found so many people that either had him as their doctor or had a close family member be his patient.

The appointment itself wasn’t very exciting or anything. We just did a regular pap like appointment. He said that everything looked great and asked me if I had questions. I laughed at it and told him “sorry, I always have questions”. I had a little scare this past Sunday. I had to drop off my sweet hubby at the airport (he went out of town for work) and right there at the airport I went to the ladies room and saw some red spotting.

I freaked out. I told Tom about it and of course he too was concerned but as always, he kept his cool and just kept telling me that everything was going to be ok.

The moment I got home, I pulled out my Doppler and thank God I was able to hear the baby’s heart beat. So, I mentioned this to my new OB and he said that he didn’t see any blood during my exam and that it was most likely because of an irritated cervix and for me not to worry about it.

Right, like I’m not going to worry about it.

Today I’m 11 weeks pregnant. That’s a great milestone to reach but I know that we’re not out of the woods just yet. My NT scan is scheduled for March 1st and to say that I’m anxious is an understatement.

We’re going to see the same doctor/specialist that we saw with our last pregnancy. Needless to say it was the worse visit of our lives. It was when we discovered that our baby was no longer alive. To go back to the same office again for this ultrasound is so nerve wrecking.

It’s a fear that I’ll have to conquer once we’re there.

So 11 weeks, what does that mean? Well from what I’ve read it means that our little bean is now a fetus.

Meet the beat. Your little one’s heart has been beating furiously for weeks, but it’s only just become loud enough for your health care provider to hear with a special listening device called a Doppler. You’ll be able to hear it too! A fetus’s heart beats twice as fast as yours, anywhere between 120 to 140 beats per minute. (Don’t worry if your provider can’t pick up the beat yet. Your fetus may be lying in a position that muffles the sound.) If you’re like many women, hearing the rapid thump-thump of your little one’s heart will be your favorite part of the prenatal visits. In addition to perfecting its beat, the heart has become a proper four-chambered structure over the past month, although some of the dividing walls won’t be complete until after birth.

Skin is in. A fine layer of skin has been forming over the fetus’s body during the past few weeks. Now, a specialized layer develops into what will become the fingernails and toenails.

Measuring up. Your little one has grown quite a bit since last week—the crown-to-rump length is just over 2 inches. The fetus’s head alone is nearly half the length of the body, which shows you how rapidly the brain is growing. Genius in the making!

This is it for now. I really want to do some weekly updates like this but we’ll see how it goes. I still have not told my entire family or most of my friends yet. We’re waiting for the 12wks NT scan to pass then we can start telling people.

For now we’re looking forward to march 1st then we’ll see where we go from there.

Keep those prayers coming our way.

Appointment Rescheduled – Bummer

First I wanted to thank you ladies for the good wishes. Then I want to ask you to hold that thought and wish me good luck next week.

We got to our OB appointment and there we were waiting to be called in. I heard my name and was super excited. That’s when I realized that the person calling me was the scheduler not the nurse.

She was very nice and said to me “I’m sorry but the doctor was called in for delivery and won’t be back in the office today”. BUMMER!!!

Of course it was a bummer but what can I do?! I’m hoping to be one of those lucky ladies that get to have the doctor leave the office to deliver me one day too.

So, for now we’ve scheduled our OB appointment for next week (the 16th). This time around I got an early appointment. It sucks because my hubby won’t be in town for that entire week. This will be my very first appointment alone and that’s the only thing that scares me.

On the positive note, we got our NT scan scheduled already. It’s going to be on March 1st. The scary part. Well, it’s going to be with the same doctor that delivered us the news that we had lost our baby last time. To say that I’m nervous about stepping into that office again is an understatement.

They did tell me that if I wanted they could send me somewhere else, but I’ve heard that she’s the best doctor in town and that’s why they also refer their patients to her. So, I have to conquer my fears and go back into that office. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.

My hubby is going out-of-town for business this Sunday (valentine’s day) and won’t be back until the following weekend. I’m going to spend valentine’s day all alone. My solution?! Find a substitute husband! LOL. I’m just kidding. I’ll probably just stay home and cuddle with my crazy dogs.

I’m praying for a very uneventful, happy and healthy week next week.

Ohh I almost forgot. I think I heard the baby’s heart beat with our doppler yesterday and the day before. It ranges anywhere from 135 to 145 and it still sounds a little far away but it’s definitely there. What can I do, I have a lot of cushing in there so I knew it would be a little harder to hear anything. I can’t wait to be able to hear very loudly. I’m going to try to test with a full bladder (I heard it helps). We’ll see how that works out. I’ll let you know.

Getting ready to meet our new OB

Just a quick post for right now.

Today we have another OB appointment. I’ll finally get to meet Dr.Sw today. I’m excited and as always super anxious.

I’ve heard so many good things about this doctor, I can’t wait to see if they’re all true or not.

I guess that he’ll be doing the physical and pap exams and all that good stuff. Not sure yet.

I have lots of questions for him. Do you know when you want to know SOOO much and yet your brain just goes blank and you can’t think straight?! That’s how I feel right now.

I have to take deep breaths and write things down or else I won’t remember a thing once we get there.

I know that Tom is DYING to have another ultrasound. I’m too but I doubt that they’ll do another one today.

I’m sure that Tom will bargain with them. I wish they could just listen and do the u/s. Tom is going out of town for a week and it would really help but I had a little reassurance while he’s gone.

Tom ordered me a doppler online and we received it yesterday. Of course we tried it right away. It took us a little while but I believe that we did hear it. It wasn’t very high 140’s but it was there for sure.

I’m not sure if I should mention it to the doctor or not. I’m scared that he’ll get mad at me for trying at home and I don’t want our first meeting to be bad.

That’s it for now. I’ve been doing great. Some nausea here and there but luckily I have not been sick yet.

Some smells drive me crazy and of course I can smell them from miles away. I do get tired here and there but it’s not bad.

The best one of all is that I have not had any bleeding or spotting and that on itself is a huge relief for me.

Wish me luck ladies. I’ll post more once I get back from my appointment.

OB ultrasound

Yesterday was our first ultrasound at our new OB’s office.  We met one of his Nurse Practitioners (Jane). She was very sweet and very caring too. She could tell right off the bet that we were super nervous. She tried to calm us down but she knew that the only thing that would make us calm was to see that little heart beating away.

We had an internal ultrasound (which I’m so used to it by now). Right away there he/she was. The nurse then said “do you see the heart beating?” I already had a huge smile on my face and answered yes.

She then tells us “ok, now breathe and let me take some measurements”. There I was watching her measuring and she tells me that we were measuring at 9wks. I told her that it was a couple of days ahead and she said that it was a great sign.

She repeated the measurements and she was always getting anything between 8w6d to 9wks. I was super excited. She said that the heart rate looked really good and that she was super happy with the ultrasound.

Then it happened. The baby started to move around. I had never seen that before so immediately tears just ran down my cheeks and I couldn’t control myself. Tom kept telling me to stop laughing and crying because I was moving and so was the baby, therefore he couldn’t see it too well.

Tom asked the nurse “so, another u/s next week?” She smiled and told him that she didn’t believe that we would since we’re not really suppose to have u/s every week.

But then she said that if we were really that worried that maybe we could schedule an ultrasound for within a couple of weeks or so. Tom had a huge smile on his face and that comment made his day.

That was it for yesterday. We’re beyond excited and we feel so blessed.

Here’s a little picture of our little bean. He is faced down so use your imaginations.

Our little bean at 8wks 5days.