Merry Christmas !!!

Merry Christmas Everyone!!!

Today is Christmas Eve and I’m swimming in a sea of different emotions.

I’m happy and excited to have our family over, which I know will keep me busy and keep my mind off things but at the same time I’m very emotional about it.  Yesterday it dawn to me that they were supposed to be coming over because of my angel baby’s arrival and I’m not pregnant. (I don’t know yet).

Then there is the unknown too. Today is the half way mark for me. It’s been 7 days since my IUI and I have yet another 7 days to go.

The second week always drags and it just sucks.

As I always do, I decided to test to make sure that the trigger shot was out of my system and it is.

Now all I have to do is hold on tight until next week and test again then.

My mom yesterday said to me “your skin looks so beautiful” then I looked at her and she had a huge smile on her face. She then said “you do know what that means, right?” I just pretended that I didn’t hear her question and went about what I was doing.

I guess there’s the belief that when someone is pregnant their skin looks beautiful or something like that.  All I can say to that is, I sure hope that she’s right.

Tonight we’ll have our big Christmas dinner and exchange gifts and all. I’m sure it will be lots of fun but right now, this exact second, I can’t help but feel sad and scared that I won’t ever become a mommy.

I feel like an emotional wreck and I have to keep a nice, happy composure tonight. I just hope that I can pull it off.

Anyway. Merry Christmas Everyone. I hope you can find happiness through the Holidays.

Here’s to a better 2010!!



  1. 21reena · December 26, 2009

    OMG- I hope your mom is right!!! Merry Christmas!!! 1 week to go with your waiting – i hope you get your BFP…that would be the perfect “little Christmas” present!

  2. sarahlou73 · December 27, 2009

    Hi there. I found your blog when I did a search. I hope you don’t mind me writing to you. I think we’re at more or less the same stage in our IUI! I was inseminated on Dec 18th so I’m on day 22. The wait is is absolutely killing me. I did a test yesterday which was stupid. I’ve said I’ll wait til day 26 now which is New Years Eve. I know I won’t!
    Anyway, I just wanted to offer some support if you need it 🙂

    • wtbocianski · December 27, 2009

      Hi there.

      yes the 2ww is so dreadful. Don’t feel bad for testing early. I do it all the time. I don’t know why I like to torture myself but I do it anyway.
      I always test on day 7th to make sure that the trigger is out of my system then I can’t stop myself. It’s aweful
      Hang in there, here’s praying and hoping that we’ll get our BFP and start a great new year.

      hang in there and I’m here if you need any support too.

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